Doc apt.

Had a good visit with my psychiatrist today. She is trying to find someone that has a lot of experience with BDD. I did ask her if she had read my blog and she had. She is happy I'm writing things down. She also gave me another writing chore to help me. I won't be sharing them with anyone (including my partner). She says I need to write some letters and get some stuff off my head/chest and then burn them as a way of healing. I think that's a good thing and definitely will be doing that. There are a lot of people that affected my live in a negative way (most unknowingly) that I can't talk to any more. People that have passed. We did have a good visit today and I was thankful for that. I did ask my doc if she thought a gay therapist would be better for me and she said no I want you to see someone with experience with BDD whether they be gay or not. Which absolutely makes sense. Hopefully we can find someone I can relate to. We were talking about the severity levels of BDD and she said that was what Karen Carpenter died from because Anorexia is of course a form of BDD. Not to mention the suicides. The stupid shit that the brain comes up with just amazes me.

Just one more thing I do want to say before I quit for the gym. About my parents, I love my parents dearly and I know they loved me dearly. They were old school and as far as I was concerned till therapy great parents. Believe me I have a lot more positives about me from them than I do negatives. The person that did things they shouldn't have was fighting a battle I am all too familiar with. Being gay! I do believe it was harder on him than it was on me because I eventually got to come out and be at peace with that part of me. I have a great family even with all of our dysfunction. :-) Just wanted to say that.

Thanks for reading and caring about The Hell in My Mind.
Rick.