Not going to be a good day.

Good morning everyone. The gym was packed last night. The first of January always sucks in the gym. People will get tired of their new years resolutions by the end of the month and all will be back to normal. My guy was there yesterday so yes I got depressed. I would give anything to stay in bed today!!!!. I'm trying to not let it get me down too bad though. Its going to be a rough day. I get so sick of being a thin toothpick I could just scream! ARGHHHHHHHHHH  Ok. got that over with. Still don't feel much better. I think if you work out as hard as I work out you should have the damn body you want! I think I must have been very bad in my last life to get stuck with this body in this one. I wish I could just stay home in bed, but have to put the smiley face on and go to work. It's hard to get through days like this. I'll make it though I always do. Partner has club meeting tonight so I will be home alone. Suppose to go to the gym and do cardio and tan, but may just hit the bed when I get home.(bed is definitely the favorite right now).  Will see. I need the gym and tan, but the bed sure sounds better. Have you ever wanted to just beat the living shit out of someone because they looked TOO good? That's how I felt about that guy in the gym. BASTARD!  Nobody in the world needs to look as good as he does unless its me! I swear sometimes I feel like God gave me the short end of the stick! They say everyone has positives, but I don't know of mine other than my work ethic. I am good at what I do and that is something I care about immensely and am proud of. I have a great job and that's very important. I don't care how good your job is, it still sucks from time to time. Mine is going to suck today. I wish I could just call in, but cant do that to the rest of the group! At least I work with friends so if I need someone I know they are there for me. I know I could probably get FMLA for my mental illness and could stay home if I had it, but I refuse to get it. I have seen people abuse that system so bad and I know that the rest of the team that has to pull that person's weight just gets angry with them when they lay out all the time. Not that I would, but don't want FMLA until it is truly necessary. I probably don't need to be working when my mind is just not there like its not going to be today. Well Time to get ready to face this sucky day. Can we just skip today please? I know I will obsess all day today. Anyone see the off switch to my mind? I think I will need it.  Man I don't want to do this today. Touch Shit huh! ARGH. This is where I tell myself to shut up and suck it up and do what you have to do. A little prayer my  way today would be nice guys. Its going to be a bad day for me.

Thanks for reading and caring about The hell In my mind.
Rick.